9 Years Later

It's a cold day in Austin.  It shouldn't last long as the sun has shown its beautiful face.  It's been a long time since I have blogged, but a friend suggested that I might want to start journaling again.  Life has a funny way of pointing us in a certain direction.  So, as we wave goodbye to the 2010 decade and welcome in the 2021.  I thought I would briefly bring you up to speed with my life.  

Nine years ago, I moved to Austin at the request of my daughter.  Well actually,  I was pretty much dragged.  I sold everything I owned minus just a few of my favorite belongings and moved to a strange town.  And for me it was strange.  As a card-carrying maroon bleeding Aggie, I detested Austin.  It was too liberal, the school was the center of town, the freeways to me were much scarier than Houston even though the town is smaller.  All in all, it lives up to its reputation of being weird.  But here I was in an apartment sitting among boxes and wondering if I had indeed lost my mind.

For the next 5 years I was a full-time counselor in an elementary school with a population that was 95% Latino, 4% African American and 1% other.  I fit into the other category.  My first day, I literally had my feet knocked out from under me by a PreKinder student who was not happy to be at school.  For all those years in High School, I never was knocked off my feet.  This was a first.  But I learned to love my babies and developed a whole new appreciation for those who risk everything to come to our country.  That year brought a lot of firsts.  My first time to be a mascot.  I was Willie the Wildcat. It’s terribly hot in those costumes.   My first traffic ticket-  The officer told me, “Welcome to Austin,”  when he handed me the ticket.  Next came my first grandchild- Easton. This child continues to be one of the loves of my life.  I bought my first house without help and that was closely followed by a car that I bought on my own.  And in between all of this, I met my soul mate.  David was amazing.  We had so much in common.  He loved science fiction, musicals, going to the movies, going to church, talking through our issues, and traveling.  And, he had the most amazing sense of humor.  I soon grew to adore and love this man.  Every weekend, I would wear out the roads between Austin and Salado.  And on his days off, he would come to Austin.  Soon he just never left.  David maintained his job at the VA Hospital in Temple commuting to and from five days a week.  I couldn’t have been happier.  Then, one night “Well, I think so.  But I know I have some Tylenol.” 

“No, it has to be aspirin.  And call 911 I think I’m having a heart attack.”

Yet another first.  The first time I had been this scared in a long time.  While in the ER, David coded not once, but twice.  The second time, the doctor asked me to call the code.  David had always told me he did not want any heroics.  So, I said yes.  The doctor walked out then came immediately back in and said, “You aren’t going to believe this but he’s back.”  This began a month-long hospital stay.  While he was in the hospital, I realized that our house was not recovery friendly.  David’s ability to walk was greatly diminished and the study was upstairs.  The real estate market in Austin was hot, so I sold my house and moved to the suburbs just in time to celebrate David’s 60^th birthday. 

It was a struggle, but he was alive.  And I was so thankful.  We had numerous challenges over the next 4 years.  We had our challenges.  David was stubborn and probably a bit scared and would wait until he was almost ready to go to the hospital to seek medical help.  We experienced the loss of loved ones and the loss of friends.  We were there for each other and that was all that mattered.  But we still lived life to the fullest.  We celebrated holidays.  We traveled.  We went to Church.  We embraced each day as if it were our last.  He witnessed the birth of 2 more of my grandchildren and was anxiously awaiting the arrival of the 4^th.  I was so fortunate that he loved my kids like his own and my grandkids were his grandkids.  In fact, once while we were in Oklahoma, Easton had a fall and was rushed to the hospital not once, but twice.  The following morning, he woke up and said we are headed home.  He was on the phone with my daughter who kept telling him it was not necessary for us to come back.  He got very indignant and told her that Easton was his grandson, and he was coming home.  Wow!  He was invested.  We were all a family.  When we began keeping JR’s daughter Chloe, he quickly began to bond with her.  In fact, after listening to me tease David about being pokey, she looked over at him, laughed and said, “Popo.”.  And the name stuck.  As I write this, Ashley is roughly 9 days away from delivering Miss Tylar Graham.  David was so excited about this little girl.  But he will only be able to see her from far away.  On Monday, November 2, I had gone to pick up Chloe for “our date with the Princess.”  Upon return, I found him unresponsive.  911 was called and he was transported to the local hospital.  Experience has taught me that when the nurse in the ER tells you the doctor wants to talk to you and they usher you to the family waiting room, it is never a good thing.  And, just like that, my happily ever after was over.  Yet another loss. 

So here I am.  Not quite back at square one, but somewhere in the middle.  I can tell you that I am one of the most blessed people on the planet.  I have an awesome daughter and son who were there for me from the moment I found David.  You know, say what you will about Austin, (yes, even me) but I have met some of the best and most caring friends I could ask for, and finally, David and I were a part of an amazing church family, that continues to wrap their arms around me.  But most importantly, I  was fortunate enough to have David in my life for almost 9 years.  During that time, he never missed an opportunity to tell me he loved me, that I was his angel, and how beautiful I was inside and out.  For the first time in my life, I felt totally and unconditionally loved.  It is a wonderful feeling, and some people live their whole life without knowing this feeling.  I am so very blessed to have known that overwhelming love.  I’m still very sad and grieve daily even constantly some days.  But as I run through everything, I keep coming back to damn I am just so, so blessed.